he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
