So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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