Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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