So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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