I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
