Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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