I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The power of my boobs compel you
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
