I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
