If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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