eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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