YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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