It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
