this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
