How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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