Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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