Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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