Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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