next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
