They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Farmville is her only friend.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
