Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
