i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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