i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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