Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
