you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
