i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
