i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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