I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
