Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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