I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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