They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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