Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dignity is for republicans.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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