piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
