why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
