I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this just has baby written all over it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
