she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I could fuck to npr.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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