you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
