If i come over, it means nothing
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
