Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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