So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
