I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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