I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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