Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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