woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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