Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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