You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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