Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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