Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
