I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
