party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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