That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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