Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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